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He replied that he was 'too fired up and couldn’t talk about anything else.' I left before the appetizer got to the table." —sierraw4e52886cf "I had the bright idea to suggest zip-lining as a first date activity, even though I had zero experience.

I should have just given up when I slammed into a tree on the little practice zip line.

I could fill pages and pages with horror stories (HA!

)…then again, what single woman in her 30’s couldn’t?

That’s a much better option than fighting to keep yourself from jabbing the steak knife repeatedly into your eyeball just to make it stop. Carrying around rejection is literally like walking around carrying an open, smelly bag of garbage. But choosing to tightly clench hands with that spirit of rejection and make it your lifelong companion will keep you from ever finding an actual companion.

Anyway…Rejection Guy told me within the first 20 minutes of meeting him that he had been fired from almost every job he’d ever had because his bosses hated him, his roommate hates him, and every girl he’d ever dated was a witch with a “B.” Yes, he actually used that term. It’s unattractive, it’s off-putting, and it permeates everything around you until no one can stand to be anywhere near you. Who knows if I would have been attracted to this guy or would have wanted to spend more time with him had he not carried around his rejection like a badge of honor…but now I’ll never know. But at a certain point, you have to stop blaming the world around you for your misery and start looking within to see what you can do differently.

This whole dating thing, of spending awkward periods of time over dinner or coffee making small talk with a complete stranger and hoping a spark lights (or sometimes hoping a fire burns the place down so you can escape as quickly as possible) is an odd ritual, at best.

"I made a joke about how I hoped he didn’t 'murder me.' He took this to mean I was talking about rape and said he 'hoped I wasn’t a feminist' because 'men have it much worse' and went on a literal 15-minute rant about men’s rape statistics in prison.

I made it clear that wasn’t what I had meant at all, and wanted to see if we could change the conversation to make it through the meal.

Never again will I subject myself to hours of misery over dinner or even lunch. (Not to mention he ate only the centers out of the bread slices the waiter brought us to share, leaving the rinds, which was just plain weird.

I firmly believe it’s best to keep the first meeting short and sweet, and then if it goes great, you can always set up another date. Obviously I wasn’t exactly seeing rainbows and shooting stars. And left a trail of crumbs across the table long and thick enough to entice every ant in the middle Tennessee area.) As miserable as the evening was, it taught me a valuable lesson.

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